


He Said What?

by lds



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-18
Updated: 2008-07-18
Packaged: 2017-10-06 05:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lds/pseuds/lds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friendly aliens who are open to sharing technology, what's the catch?</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Said What?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know whether I should apologize for my tardiness or for the story because I not sure if it's what you were looking for.

"Trees, lots of trees," Colonel Jack O'Neill muttered to himself as he stepped through the gate. "What a surprise."

"Hold on there, sir," Major Samantha Carter smirked at her commanding officer. "One of these days it'll be a beautiful beach, pretty ladies and Mai Tais waiting for you."

"Or whatever the alien equivalent happens to be on that planet," Doctor Daniel Jackson joined in with the teasing.

"So," a voice not usually heard, at least at the beginning of a visit, chimed in causing SG-1 to pivot back toward the gate. "Why did Command feel the need to send us along on this little jaunt again?"

"I do believe it relates to the intelligence on the locals, they are considered to be peculiar if I remember correctly," Daniel offered.

"And the last time a team went to meet locals described that way, you ended doing an extraction," Sam added. "So maybe trying to save on time and gate operations or the ounce of preventive theory got you added to the roster."

"You'd almost think we had a reputation for trouble or something," Jack observed before gesturing toward a small path almost hidden from view. "I do believe the settlement is that away."

As SG-1 and 3 followed the Air Force Colonel down the narrow path, Colonel Reynolds mockingly responded, "SG-1, sir? No rep there since all your assignments go as smooth as silk"

"You betcha."

XXXX

The hike was peaceful. SG-1 and 3 could have just easily been out for a walk in Colorado except for the toting of P-90s and the radically different looking wildlife that occasionally scurried across their trail. The trip took a little over an hour; the group arrived at the medium sized community unmolested. The first assessment of civilization suggested a technological development a generation or two behind that of Earth. There was no obvious security around the perimeter implying a peaceful existence with little conflict, leaving everyone but Daniel to wonder if there would be much point to establishing relations with the inhabitants on the planet.

Careful of first impressions being misleading, the teams approached the inhabitants who seemed unaware that visitors had arrived. Once they the got close enough to see what the aliens were doing everyone came to an abrupt halt.

"Oh my," gasped Sam while at least one of the marines from SG-3 muttered something much more impolite at the sight before them.

"Are they doing what I think they're doing?" Jack enquired in a stage whisper.

"Oh, most definitely," Daniel stated with a twist of his head.

So entranced by the sight before them, everyone but Teal'c failed to hear one of the residents approach from behind. The Jaffa assessed the approach as non-threatening, the man himself appearing to be dressed as a leader of some sort. He chose instead to amuse himself by watching the various startled reactions of his companions when the man addressed them.

"Hello strangers, did you come through the Great Ring?" the elder of the town asked. "You look greatly stressed. Did you encounter some troubles in your journey?"

Daniel stepped forward as greeter. "We did come through the Great Ring a short while ago. We are peaceful explorers who came hoping to establish a friendship with your people, if possible. We didn't have troubles getting here, but where we are from such activities are conducted in a much more private venue." He turned slightly, gesturing toward the group of locals that brought forth the stressful expressions.

"Ah, we on Maidai usually conduct such matters in private as well but today is a day of celebration, two of our young have entered into their fist marriage." the man before them explained. "I am Ioseo Oine, prime presbyter here. I had the honour of marrying the two boys."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Daniel apologized, realizing he had not offer names during his introduction. While pointing at each individual, he continued. "I am Daniel Jackson. This is Colonel Jack O'Neill. Major Samantha Carter. Teal'c..."

Before he got a chance to introduce the various members of SG-3, Jack rudely jumped in with a question of his own. "First marriage?"

"Not the point I'd be asking?" one of the marines muttered, bringing the glares of Jack and Daniel on himself.

"Ah, yes. It is common for individuals to take on more than one spouse over their lifetimes. Of course, except in dire circumstances each marriage is for life. Though we do not often find such circumstances arise." Ioseo explained.

"We tend to do one spouse back home," Sam chipped in with a smile. "Well at least, one at a time. We are a little freer on the circumstances of it not lasting a life time."

"And our celebrations tend to consist more of over eating, drinking and possibly dancing," Jack continued in explaining the differences between Earth and Maidai. Wanting to avoid the remaining marital difference between the two cultures, well for the majority of Earth's countries, Jack redirected the conversation to that he was more curious about and more applicable to the mission. "This planet is very serene, no signs of recent conflict. No troubles with neighbours or Goa'uld?"

"It has been generations since the Goa'uld have visited. We have security to alert us to the presence of those creatures. Though you carry weapons and have a Jaffa among you, it was the belief of the council that you had no hostile intent, so we let you come to find out the purpose of your arrival," Ioseo informed the Colonel.

"So you were aware of us at all times?" Colonel Reynolds asked.

"Yes," Ioseo answered with a slight nod. "If you turned out to be hostile our weaponry would be more than capable to handle any assault. It has after all defended us from the Goa'uld."

Jack's eyebrows shot up as his eyes grew wider. "You have weapons that are effective against the Goa'uld?"

"Yes."

"Don't suppose you'd be willing to share?"

XXXX

"So you are telling me that they have weaponry on a level that could help us with the Goa'uld, but it is dependent on us being compatible in our values," General Hammond asked once again, trying to clarify what it was they needed to do to gain access to advanced weaponry.

"Yes, sir."

General Hammond continued, "And you're saying that this could be a problem?"

"Yes, sir," Jack parroted his earlier answer before adding. "For once it isn't because we are too immature to handle such responsibility. Nope, this time it's gonna be because of our attitudes toward less conventional relationships. So close to getting some big honking space guns."

"Or what we consider unconventional. I know we weren't there very long but it was quite clear that the relationship type being referred to by the Colonel was not in the least odd to them." Daniel was still a little angry after being dragged back to the SGC before getting a chance to establish a better understanding of the Maidai basic values. It was a topic that was relevant enough to warrant more study for once and he wanted a chance to take advantage of that fact.

"I was referring to the polygamous nature of their society. It isn't a common practise among even our most liberal of allies," Jack defended himself against the hostility emitting from his team mate.

"Polygamy? They practise polygamy?" Hammond stammered.

"Among other things." muttered Colonel Reynolds, causing all heads to turn in his direction. "I have no problem with... but I don't need to see it in action."

"With what?" Hammond asked.

"We were treated to a little boy-on-boy action," snickered Sam. "Made all the guys more than a little uncomfortable."

"Oh, and you were so relaxed," snapped Jack.

"It was the sex alfresco that threw me," Sam smirked. "Boy-on-boy was kinda hot. And we know if had been girl-on-girl we'd still be back there watching."

"Homosexuality, polygamy. I can see why there might be a problem." Hammond pinched his nose as he felt a headache starting.

"I'd suggest we send a team to get a better understanding on the congruency of our value systems. Ioseo didn't seem overly disturbed by our mention of monogamy, so it might not be as bad as we think," Daniel offered. Sitting back in his chair, his arms folded across his chest, he went on to add, "Might want to make the team civilian heavy though. Easier to avoid bringing up the antiquated attitudes of the US military."

"Just had to get that dig in didn't you?" Jack rolled his eyes at Daniel.

"Yes."

"I'll take that under advisement, Dr. Jackson. Dismissed." On that note, Hammond got up, trying to figure out exactly how to present this quandary to those he had to consult.

XXXX

In a surprisingly short period of time, SG-1 found themselves back on Maidai, this time as part of the larger team sent to try and establish a treaty. Also included were individuals new to SGC operations. A former diplomat, Charisse O'Malley, who along with Daniel, would head up the talks themselves. The Air Force had also included Colonel David Travers, to lead the assessment of the technology being offered by the Maidains. It was felt that since the threat factor was low, it would be a good introductory mission for both.

The first round of talks was expected to last several days. Initial discussions showed that the Maidains were fairly lenient in their interpretation of compatibility of value systems. The two sides put forth some of the more critical areas, or more accurately, the Maidains did, the team from Earth was more hesitant to do so.

It was also arranged for the team to view some of the technology that they would be getting should an understanding by reached. What they saw had many of the military component drooling, almost literally. Sam was practically rubbing her hands together in anticipation of exploring the inner workings of what she had seen.

Daniel and Charisse had skipped the tour, opting instead to review the points of contention that the Maidains has raised.

"I have noticed that the topic that the Air Force most feared isn't on there," observed Charisse as the two enjoyed the planet's equivalent of tea.

"That is because you need to break out of your Earth centric thinking a little," Daniel advised. "For us to talk about relationships, we pretty much assume heterosexual only unless specifically homosexual mentioned. Here, they've cleared up the polygamy versus monogamy issue quickly by saying though they think we are a little backwards, it is a difference they can live with. We had specifically told them we're monogamous in our relationships or at least serial monogamists type, if I remember Sam's comments correctly. We did not go down that other path, seemed safer."

"Why did I know you were going to say something like that," groaned the former diplomat. "I have a feeling they aren't going to be happy about the whole not allowed to serve military clause and have trouble buying Don't Ask, Don't Tell, let alone that not all of us in the Stargate Program even recognize the legitimacy of same-sex relationships."

"I guess we should be grateful they are only holding us to the values of those allies and not the whole planet," Daniel reminded her and then joked, "We could pretend to be Canadian, same continent and similar accent."

"Think they'd notice if suddenly started ending everything with 'eh'?"

"Probably should have started the masquerade earlier."

"Maybe we should just not mention it and pretend ignorance should they find out. Hey, once we got the technology..." Charisse suggested.

"A plan, but one I assure you will fail. Aliens always find out." Daniel nodded, screwing up his face a little. "And always before we get what we want."

"Oh well, we'll just have to sell programs like Don't Ask, Don't Tell as us progressing down the right road and be prepared once again to get a mini lecture on our backwardness," Charisse said with a shrug.

"Or a major one," Daniel shot back with a smile.

XXXX

Later that evening, Jack found Daniel sitting at the dining room table reviewing documentation they had been provided on some important Maidain cultural thing or another. Jack hadn't really been paying attention.

"Daniel," was all he said as he sat down across from the younger man, a goofy grin across his face.

"Yes, Jack?" Daniel asked still reading the papers in front of him. When the older man didn't answer the archaeologist shot his friend quick glance and then muttered, "No I am not inviting you up to, my room to look at my etchings"

"Why not?"

"What do you mean, why not? It's your policy regarding our conduct off world," Daniel shook his pen at Jack. "Your policy. I suggested some leniency for situations like this, but you said no, so now you have to live with it."

"You know, you pick some very strange times to actually listen to me," grumbled Jack. "And shouldn't it be inviting me up to see your rubbings, what with you being an archaeologist."

"Jack?"

"Yes?"

"Is this going to lead to another round of frottage jokes? Because that is not going to help your case at all."

"But my cause is hopeless anyway, so that isn't going to discourage me, now is it."

Daniel glared at the other man. "You're planning on torturing me with them until I offer sex just to get you to stop."

Before Jack had a chance to answer a third voice chimed in, "I was not told you were a couple. I do apologize for not placing you in the same room." Their landlady, Vaedara Cellandor, rubbed her hands together nervously.

Both men started a little in their seats before turning to the woman to ensure her that no faux pas had been committed on the Maidains part.

"No, no," Daniel told her with a shake of his head, "We don't share rooms when visiting other planets unless it is necessary."

"No fraternizing helps us keep our wits around us when in more problematic situations and for the sake of consistency we take the same approach on all planets we visit," was Jack's contribution. "I was just doing a little harmless teasing."

After Vaedara left the two alone, reassured that her guests were happy with the current arrangements, Daniel snapped, "We have got to be more careful. It could have just as easily been a member of our delegation and there goes your career."

"So sweet of you to care."

"Jack, will you be serious." Daniel whispered, looking around to make sure they were definitely alone. "Saving the world only buys you so much good will."

"We'll just have to do it again," Jack smirked, reaching over and grabbing Daniel's hand. "Plus I knew everyone else had headed outside for a while. I originally came over to ask if you wanted to join them, but your mind went elsewhere."

"Sure it's all my fault."

"You started the conversation."

XXXX

The divergent attitudes that existed regarding same sex relationships did not come to light till the last day of the initial negotiations. The Maidains did not look kindly upon the US military policy though they were willing to concede that the civilian attitudes were a little friendlier. No one brought up the bible thumping extreme right, focusing instead on states like Vermont who recognize such unions. It was in defence of the progress Earth's delegates were selling that, well, all hell broke loose. Jack, who had been doodling, suddenly snapped to attention while Daniel proceeded to choke on the poorly timed sip of water as the two men listened to one Colonel Travers explain that the policy on paper was not the reality faced at the SGC. To emphasize his point, he used the relationship pf two of the most prominent members of the SGC as an example. Jack and Daniel had just gotten officially outed.

XXXX

"For crying out loud Daniel, how was I supposed to know the man was going to say that?" Jack defended himself. "I had no idea that he even knew about..." unable to complete his comment, the Colonel waved his hand back and forth between himself and Daniel.

"I haven't had as much as a single real conversation with him," Daniel flung back at the man. "So it couldn't have been me."

The man in question to their right cleared his throat, causing both men to snap their heads in that direction. The anger emitting from the squabbling duo caused the individual to step back, changing his mind on sharing the comment he intended. Sam however was undeterred by the fight taking place in front of her. She was used to her two team mates fighting, even if the topic wasn't usually so personal.

"I don't know how to break this to the two of you, but your relationship is one of the worse kept secrets ever," she informed the men. "There is no one at the SGC that didn't know, nor is there anyone there who really cares."

"They are using my private life as a way to garner an agreement. A relationship I am forced to hide suddenly becomes okay, or at least okay enough to be used to an advantage by the very organization that caused me to have to hide it. I have the right to be upset," Daniel snapped. Pointing at Jack, he continued, "And you should be more upset too. Suddenly it won't cost you your career because there are such huge benefits, new ways to blow people up involved." The fact that Daniel felt that those same guns were why Jack wasn't as disturbed by what happened went unsaid.

"Daniel, what is done is done. Don't have a time machine handy to go back and change it." Jack turned to Sam and asked, "We don't, do we?"

"No, sir," Sam answered swallowing a chuckle. She didn't want Daniel to feel she was laughing at him since he was so upset.

Jack was trying to remain calm, understanding that Daniel was upset on his behalf as well. To have their relationship spoke of so openly, as a matter of record could still put his career in jeopardy regardless of the attitudes of the SGC or the number of times they saved the planet, literally.

"There is no point crying of spilt milk, that's all I'm saying," Jack offered resignedly with a shrug. "We'll deal with whatever fallout, if and when it comes. And as much as I do like the idea of having those big honkin' space guns, I am not happy about having my private life used in such a manner. Not without my permission. But then Travers couldn't exactly get that, the whole Don't Ask side of the equation." Jack made air quotes as he spoke.

Daniel simply shook his head at his team mates.

"O'Neill is correct Daniel Jackson, it cannot be unsaid so let us hope it does get us the treaty," Teal'c offered in comfort.

"Otherwise it'll all have been for nought," Jack tacked on. "And that would be making a bad situation worse."

Charisse picked this moment to stick her head in the room. "Everything okay in here? I told the Maidains that the ruckus was more about your privacy as a couple than anything else to minimize damage. I had no idea Travers was going to reveal something so personal or I would have stopped him."

"Yeah, yeah," Jack said with a dismissive wave.

"It was the shock of hearing it being stated so matter of fact," Daniel explained, "When to be honest, I didn't think anyone knew."

Everyone looked at him mouths opened in surprise, Jack included.

Daniel shrugged. "Well, I knew that there were people who might have suspected, but not to the level where they could speak of it with such confidence."

"The Maidains are hoping to get the negotiations back on their way, so if everyone is calm enough..." Charisse motioned SG-1 toward the now open door.

As they were leaving, Jack walked over and placed his arm around Daniel. "So, we're good to go now, right?"

"Not even by a long shot," Daniel sniped. "You are letting all this slide way too much, and all because of those stupid guns."

"Guns that'll save the planet," Jack quipped before commenting more seriously, "If it came down to it, I'd pick us, but the whole thing, as you may have noticed, was completely out of my hands. I always thought we'd be outed getting caught doing it off world."

"Still not going to happen, Jack," Daniel scoffed, shaking his head. "Still not going to happen."

XXXX

"And that was when the Maidains started give us quite the lecture regarding our treatment of these two sir," Sam stated, waving in Jack and Daniel's general direction. "Well, not our treatment per se but that of the military in general. They couldn't understand how they could be considered respectful enough to be allowed to do first contact mission while at the same time have to hide who they are to each other or Jack could be out a career."

General Hammond grimaced. "I live with it every day and have yet to figure out the logic of it. But SG-1 works and no one wants to tamper with what is working in such an unknown… You are the experts."

"See, I told you we had nothing to worry about." Jack lightly jabbed Daniel in the arm, flashing him a smile when the younger man glared at him. "No need to out and out lie here, just fuzz a little."

Daniel raised his eyebrow and tapped his finger against his mouth before responding, "Just fuzz the report a little? And how is that different from lying?"

"Don't argue semantics with me," huffed Jack.

"I'm a linguist, it's what I do."

"To get back on topic," General Hammond interrupted the two before they wandered any further in their conversation. "What is the prognosis for us coming to an agreement with these people and gaining access to their technology?"

The former diplomat, Charisse, addressed the issue head on. "We pretty much have to get rid of the ban on gays before we'll get any further. They did not view the policy with an understanding, unlike our explanation regarding marriages and how these decisions are made through a major rule."

"The majority may rule, but that does not mean that the majority is always correct," Teal'c rhymed off the response the aliens had provided.

"And this didn't work on Don't Ask, Don't Tell because…" Hammond probed.

"Because they couldn't understand how the policy was suppose to be helpful," Daniel offered, leaning forward on the table. "Homosexuals still can't actually serve. Their interpretation was that as long as a person didn't do or say anything that could give themselves away or were lucky enough to serve under those who would turn a blind eye everything was okay. But a simple change in command or someone officially reporting that person and it's all over, not matter how careful they are. It allows for very uneven treatment of a particular group of people and was simply unacceptable to them."

"So you see, all we need to do is sell the brass on dumping the policy, have them to get it by politicians who have to sell it to the general public, all without the benefit of discussing how friendly aliens can help us protect ourselves from meaner, nastier aliens," Sam summed up.

"Give me a gou'ald any day of the week over bureaucracy. Good luck with that sir," Jack added with a smile.

"Why don't you all head out, I have what I need from the debriefing," Hammond said by way of dismissal. "I expect a quick turn around on those mission reports however. Might as well have all the ammo we can get."

"Well, if we are done, I'm out of here," Jack said with a smile. Standing up he leans over to Hammond and stage whispers, "Got to take the boyfriend out for dinner to make up for being the calmer more rational one when we were outed on another planet. He hates it when that happens."

"I do not believe it has happened before." Teal'c interjected.

"I'd enjoy it, sir. It will probably never happen again," Sam added with a giggle and wink in Daniel's direction.

Ha, I have often been a voice of reason," scoffed Jack.

"It doesn't count when you are the only one in the room," Daniel smirked as he stood up and join his lover. "But I'll definitely let you treat this time since I usually in the man's role."

"TMI, Dr. Jackson, TMI." shuttered Hammond. Waving in the direction of the stairs. "Get out of here before I decide you two should be the ones to sell the idea of doing what is needed to get that treaty with the Maidains."

Both snapped a "Yes, sir." and darted out of the conference room. There was no way they were sticking around to find out how real that threat might be.


End file.
